Why did I ever doubt?

Okay, two posts in a row. I know I can hardly believe it myself. But brace yourself:)

So..."Why did I ever doubt", yeah a good title for the question that I'm thinking right now. Things are good, real good.

One of my friends and co-workers is leaving tomorrow, (very sad about this, you have no idea), and she has been working with all of the TLI alumni for the past four years. Being as how she is leaving, someone needed to keep the ship moving. And I have been dubbed captain! I could hardly believe it. I was thrilled, still am! I've been praying for opportunities at work like this one and God just gave it to me. I'm shaking in my boots at the responsibility and what happens when my not-so-creative mind decides not to produce ANYTHING, but God is sovereign!

The other thing that happened today and is totally another God-ordained miracle is that my boss is giving ME the opportunity to teach a class at The Laborer's Institute. I had mentioned some time in May or June that I was wanted to learn more about this and develop my skills and would love the opportunity and well....he gave it to me. I'm so thrilled. Nervous again, but thrilled! I hope I don't botch this one. I do have a quite a big amount of time to prepare though, seeing as how the Institute doesn't start until January! Wish me luck. I'm going to need as much grace given to me as possible:) Love you all!

Sara may have a baby today!

It laughs at words.

I have started reading a book that I read in the summer of 2004. "A Chance to Die-The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael" by Elisabeth Elliot. One of the best books that I have ever read. I can definitely say that it is my favorite book. God uses it every time I pull it out. I HIGHLY recommend it! Anyway, I read a quote recently that I had underlined and highlighted the last time I read it. It read:

It is not the business of hte servant to decide which work is great, which is small, which important or unimportant-he is not greater than his master.

"If by doing some work which the undiscerning consider 'not spiritual work' I can best help otehrs, and I inwardly rebel, thinking it is the spiritual for which I crave, when in truth it is the interesting and exciting, then I know nothing of Calvary love."

-Amy Carmichael

This hits me hard everytime I read it mainly because it's so convicting. I don't know if you're like me, but so many times I want to be in control and be in the limelight of things. I want "center stage" and to be recognized for my accomplishments. But as I was telling a dear friend Saturday night, God is teaching me to be faithful in the small things. God has called me to what I'm doing and to nothing else, thus far. And then God says, "Why do you want to do those things?" Is it for recognition or fame or is it for my glory? And I must evaluate my motives before I go.

God has been working in many so much over these past four months it's crazy. I was telling a close friend the other night that since I've left college in December I have become a whole different person. And it's a great change. My relationship with Christ has flourished and I know who I am and I love it. I love who God has made and how's He's using me, all of me. I grew a ton form January to April when I was living at home doing support-raising. But I have grown even more from May to now then I had before that. You combine it all and it just puts me in awe of who He is and what He can do. I mean, if Jesus can do these things in me and change my heart in the ways that He has than He can definitely do these other things that people are asking about.

If I have not learned anything else during these past four months (which I have) it's been that He is faithful and just and well....But can words tell the joy buried deep within? Mine cannot. It laughs at words. -Amy Carmichael [I could not have said it better myself.] Words will never be able to express the pure joy, excitement, passion, intensity, mission, life goals, and love that is on me and in me. My only prayer is that you will be able to see a glimpse of what God has shown me, for it truly glorious!

Offerings

"I want you to know God, that's more important than burnt offerings." Hosea 6:6

Me and a friend, Brynn, have started a women's Bible study that meets on Wednesday nights at 7:00. For the past few weeks and probably next week as well, we are discussing prayer: the importance of it, what teaches about, and God answers it. God has already been working through this and it's been amazing.

I also wanted to share a quote that I found on someone else's blog.

"Paul will not permit us to compensate for neglecting those nearest us by advertising our compassion for those on another continent. Jesus, it must be remembered, restricted nine-tenths of His ministry to twelve Jews because it was the only way to redeem all Americans. He couldn't be bothered, says Martin Thornton, with the foreign Canaanites because His work was to save the whole world. The check for the starving child must still be written and the missionary sent, but as an extension of what we are doing at home, not as an exemption from it." -Eugene Peterson

I thought it was so awesome. Right to the point and hit dead on!

Rewards

So I was reading this card and this is what it said,

God rewards those who seek Him. Not those who seek doctrine or religion or systems or creeds. Many settle for these lesser passions, but the reward goes to those who settle for nothing less than Jesus Himself. And what is the reward? What awaits those who seek Jesus? Nothing short of the heart of Jesus.

Um....yeah.

He should be enough

Monday was a weird day for me. I couldn't explain it. There was something about Sunday as well. I was uncomfortable with life. Everything about it made me uneasy. It scared me a little bit. But Monday night when I got home from taking Silas and Aynsley to dinner and a movie I was overcome with that uneasiness again and was just playing noise everywhere to try and escape.

But what I'm learning is that sometimes that's how God gets my attention. I decided that who better to run to than my Father. So I did. I sat on my bed listening to Natalie Grant's "Held" and just thinking and journaling and praying to God. I came to realize that He wanted me to come to Him. He wanted to talk and I was ashamed that I had ran.

At one point during our conversation I asked for boldness to share with the lost women at the gym that encounter almost daily. And it dawned on me, why am I asking for boldness? He should be enough for me. Jesus is the best thing to ever happen to me; He's given me life abundant. Shouldn't that be enough to share with people? Why do I continually have to pray for boldness to share it with people? What He's done and who He is should be enough. He is enough.

Thorn in the flesh

Thorn in the flesh...I've always wondered about this. Paul says...

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revealtions, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:7-9

I could not agree all the more and realized that I too have a thorn in my flesh. I mean, I think everyone does, but I guess I just realized what mine was. My thorn in my lack of self control when it comes to my mouth and the words that come out of it. And I have prayed for so long that God would help me to be able to control and keep it shut when all I want to do is open and say what I'm really thinking. But through a situation that culminated this week I realized that God may be keeping me the same to keep me dependent. My mouth is my weakness and knowing that I am forced and would prefer to the look to Him and ask Him for help. So many times this week I cried out to Him for help because I knew I couldn't handle the situation on my own at all. I wouldn't know what to say and if I did talk I knew it was going to come out completely wrong. So I relied on Him as my strength.

And to no surprise to me or to you I'm sure, He came through and answered my prayers and gave me the strength, the words, and the grace. He worked everything out for good. He did. It was completely Him. Praise Him!

Nice face

Here's me with Jenn and Chris in front of a waterfall in the Grand Tetons. Aren't we precious? Jenn especially:)

Grand Tetons

Ok, here's a much better pictures of the Tetons. Aren't they gorgeous? Really, everyone should see these before they die. Go. See them.

Here's me in front of the Grand Tetons. I know they don't look that grand in this picture. Maybe because I'm so far from them. But nonetheless, they are grand. You should go see them for yourselves!

Where in the Buffalo?

So here I am in Jackson Hole, WY standing with a huge buffalo. We became buddies!